I was too nervous to eat breakfast. I got up to get my tray and gave it away to someone who looked hungry. All I knew was I was getting to see my family for the first time in a year and a half. I got in line for the phone and called my mom. She was on her cellphone outside the jail waiting to be cleared for the visit. She had to put her phone in the car to come in.

When I saw the robes they brought in for us, and the tassels with ’13 on them, I knew it was really happening, I was graduating. Miss Anna, one of my teachers, helped me get my cap on straight. She could see I was nervous about how I looked. It had been a long time since I’d seen my family face-to-face.

Our families came in and we met up with them in the huge corridors outside the pods. My mom and dad studied my face like it had changed. I became hyperconscious of manners. I made sure I never shook anyone’s hand sitting and I introduced my parents to everyone very formally. I was hiding behind conventions because I wanted to make sure they knew I hadn’t forgotten them. But I didn’t need to put on a show. I really had changed.

One hug at the beginning of the visit and one at the end. This wasn’t over the video monitors or through the glass, this was real time together. Being able to hold hands together over the table and say a prayer was more human contact than I’d had in a year and a half.

The teachers had turned Miss Bernice’s math class into a café. I had no appetite, but this was special food, bacon and crepes, pancakes and real eggs. The teachers cooked it right there on hot plates. There was enough for everyone.

I wasn’t nervous anymore when I got up to receive my diploma. I looked out at the people gathered to congratulate us and saw nothing but friends. Here is the speech I gave them:

You’re being acknowledged for your achievements today.  You’ve had a chance within these walls to experience the power of education.  You’ve had the opportunity to work on some of the things in your lives that keep bringing you back.  You’ve demonstrated sincerity, integrity, and heart to get where you are.

Looking at you all, I’m reminded of all the work that went into making this day happen.  The work you did in class was just the beginning for you.  You’ve had just about every kind of problem while you were earning your diplomas.  For the most part, you had to let things happen and not try to fix things.  We broke down some invisible barriers to get here.  We ignored our differences; our common goals were much more important.  What we accomplished together was especially memorable because of where we did it.  Running a high school inside the Metropolitan Detention Center is such a new concept that we’ve become used to writing our own script, drawing our own blueprint. 

MDC’s job is to protect the community, yet the people inside these walls are the community.  You will be bringing this place back with you to your homes and families, the good and the bad of it.  For the volunteers in this program who chose the title of student over inmate; you will be taking some good things home, confidence, experience, and a hard-won high school diploma. 

Never forget the things you brought into your education.  Your test scores are higher than other high schools.  You have the ability to excel because you bring life experience into your work.  If you can own your past, you can live in the present and create your future.  Now that you’ve started to take control of your lives, you may find some doors open to you that you never considered.  Look back on the things you’ve done with pride.  Learn from your mistakes.  You’ve been able to work together in diversity and fairness under some of the worst circumstances you’ll ever face.  You’ve lived through some hard times, and they brought out the best in you.  If you’re doing it now, you can do it in the future.  If you can do it in here, you can do it anywhere. 

Graduates of the Gordon Bernell Charter School’s Class of 2012, I congratulate you.  Do not stop.  You are in a unique situation to help others by helping yourselves.  By simply going out and having a good life, you can demonstrate success.  Many of you seem to be much better at starting things than you are at finishing them.  Now you know you can do anything you set your mind to.  You’ve turned a negative into a big positive.  What you do from here is up to you.  Make this your graduation from MDC, not just high school.  Go out there and be your success story.

This was my graduation. Since then I have developed a taste for finishing things. I walked the fine line of prison and rehab, found transitional living, and got into college.

In New Mexico, it costs about $180,000 per year to house one child in juvenile detention. By Comparison, a year of public education only costs $8000. But education is the remedy to incarceration. The more education you have, the less likely you will recidivate. This says nothing about the increased earning potential you gain and the higher quality of life you will enjoy.

I go back to the downtown campus of GBCS as a volunteer tutor. Being a little help to my school makes it easier to meet the challenges I face as a returning citizen. I’m always reminded of the time I discovered the worlds inside books and the years I have spent exploring libraries and book stores. Tutoring feels like learning to read for the first time. I show gratitude for my second chance by turning my education into something I can use to pay it forward.

AUTHOR BIO: 

 Robert Wilson is a short story author, novelist and award-winning poet from Albuquerque. His publication credits include contributions to the book, “Disrupting the School-to-Prison Pipeline,” published by the Harvard Educational Review, and As/Us literary journal’s Decolonial Love issue. He is the author of the “Black Light District” series of postmodern crime novels. Having received his high school diploma while incarcerated in 2013, he is dedicated to bringing writing workshops into correctional facilities, volunteering for UNM Writers in the Community, JustWrite, and the Gordon Bernell Charter School.

You can visit him at: www.facebook.com/pages/Robert-J-Wilson/360021757483448